


ambiguity

by lezz1e



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lezz1e/pseuds/lezz1e
Summary: "You're fine with not knowing if your parents love you or not?" Clementine asks, her eyebrows furrowing. The thought of not knowing stinging deep in her chest, boiling her down into the little girl she used to be. Not knowing wasn't blissful for her, it was painful and it stopped her from accepting herself fully.Violet clenched her teeth, her eyes looking to the floor ashamed. Her arms resting behind her, the rest of her body looking shrunken in like a sponge wringed out."I know how they would have reacted," Violet admits, her eyes flickering from the ground to Clementine. Her voice quiet, almost a whisper as if she'd never said that out loud. Maybe she hadn't, Clementine certainly hadn't said anything like this before.





	ambiguity

**Author's Note:**

> probably ooc?? idk a lot of projection iuyhgrtiugt  
> oh also for clarification, the start about her fathers hands and ppl watching her and stuff is metaphorical bc parents trying to hide kids from lgbt stuff and like. looks of disgust when gay ppl walk down streets and stuff- i just wanted to express her internalised homophobia through her parents but im sorry if thats confusing 8yhr8ytghrt  
> also on that note if anything is confusing pls ask me abt it in the comments im trying to make my writing less pretentious but it seems that im a pretentious gay bitch so! yrhg8ry8rt

Clementine can feel her father's hand clutching at her forearm, trying to pull her hand away. She can feel the guilt bubbling in her stomach, feel the thousands of eyes looking at her with disgust. 

She can feel the callouses on Violet's hands, the soft grip and the warmth radiating from her palms into Clementine's. She can feel the fireworks sparking in the middle of her chest, Violet's eyes quietly taking in every part of her appearance in awe, in affection- in love. 

Clementine takes in a breath, and plays with Violet's fingers. Her hands too brave and strong and going against everything the old world taught her. Her arm burning, her father's invisible hands trying to 'protect' her.  Her heart dirty and tainted, and the fact that she didn't care made her worry. 

Her hands are dancing along Violet's arms, trying to gain as much information as they can; the feel of her arms, the feel of a woman's arm beautiful and soft, and rough and strong, and exciting and painful.  

Violet shuffles forward, her knees overlapping Clementine's slightly. Her fingers smoothing over Clementine's elbows softly- silently waiting for Clementine, waiting for her to be ready. Waiting for her to destroy a link between her and the world she had had with her parents. The world that argued about love, about adoption, about abortion and about who people were. 

"You okay?" Violet says, bringing Clementine's eyes up to her face. Clementine smiles on instinct, bright and electric feelings crawling up her stomach waiting and fighting to escape Clementine's lips- to kiss Violet's lips.  

Violet's lips twist, embarrassment blooming across her face like Clementine's past world wasn't falling apart. Her eyes linger too long on Clementine's lips, her teeth gnawing at her own chapped and dry lips. Her face a little red and a lot pretty.  

"I don't even know if they would have been against it," Clementine comments, her fingers playing Violet's jacket, occasionally dipping inside. Her eyes cast downwards, a fierce anger towards herself written across her face.  

She felt stupid and dumb, wasting her guilt on her sexuality when there was plenty of other things that she could feel guilty about- that she should feel guilty about.  

"I'm glad mine didn't know," Violet says, scorn filled in her voice. Her body becoming tense, her eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pulled into a tight line (fighting not to frown). Her hands retracting from Clementine quickly, her fake demeanour crushed under the weight- she was too scared to know the truth.   

For a split second Clementine thought she could see Violet's parents grabbing at her forearm, pulling her away. Just like the invisible hands of her father gripping at Clementine's forearms.  

"You're fine with not knowing if your parents love you or not?" Clementine asks, her eyebrows furrowing. The thought of not knowing stinging deep in her chest, boiling her down into the little girl she used to be. Not knowing wasn't blissful for her, it was painful and it stopped her from accepting herself fully.  

Violet clenched her teeth, her eyes looking to the floor ashamed. Her arms resting behind her, the rest of her body looking shrunken in like a sponge wringed out.    
"I know how they would have reacted," Violet admits, her eyes flickering from the ground to Clementine. Her voice quiet, almost a whisper as if she'd never said that out loud. Maybe she hadn't, Clementine certainly hadn't said anything like this before. 

"There must be at least someone that you knew what their reaction would have been," Violet says, her fingers playing with the floor, trying to dip into the cracks in the wood.  

Her words self-serving, trying to make herself feel better, trying to make her parents better than they were.  

Since, lots of gay people had parents who weren't expecting- her parents weren't the only assholes around here. 

"Yeah. Lee would have brought me pink, purple and blue balloons to celebrate," Clementine replies, her lips smug in a reminiscent smile- far away as if she was talking about a book, not a real person. Her hands wrapping around each other for comfort. Her eyebrows slowly sinking down, her lips turning into a frown as she remembered that Lee would never ever be able to do that for her.  

Violet takes in a deep breath, guilt simmering deep in her stomach as Clementine looks to the floor. Her fingers scratching at the floor repeatedly, her heart aching for her to figure out something to make Clementine feel better. 

Violet opens her mouth, the words on the tip of her tongue, waiting to dip into reality- and the closes them. The thought of making Clementine uncomfortable (anyone uncomfortable) making her feel sick, and dirty. The thought of becoming an ugly, dirty, predatory lesbian stereotype making her feel disgusted with herself.  

Her teeth tug to her lips, forcing the words to go unsaid. 

Clementine picks at her with her eyes, pushing her to roll the words across her tongue. Her eyes curious- not uncomfortable. Her body language open- not closed. Her encouraging smile genuine, and making Violet's heart tick like a bomb. 

"Can I- Can I hug you?" Violet asks, her voice quiet but amongst her empty dorm room, it echoed across the walls making Violet's teeth clench. She's made Clementine uncomfortable. For fuck's sake. 

Violet twists her head to look in another direction, shame swimming in her stomach as she waits for Clementine to reply. To tell her to leave. 

"As long as you squeeze as hard as you can," Clementine answers. Her waiting and open arms almost begging Violet to slot in between them. Her smile soft and encouraging, knowing that this was hard for Violet (being made to feel disgusting really fucked with your head). 

Violet lets out a sigh (her smile brighter than anything Clementine had ever seen before) and sinks into Clementine's arms, her own arms wrapping around Clementine's back hungrily, as if she hadn't had physical affection from anyone in a long while. 

She probably hadn't, since Minerva. 

Clementine matches her, her arms a little too tight around Violet's middle with her nose nuzzled into Violet's neck. Her lips grazing across Violet's neck. 

Violet bites her lips before squeezing Clementine slightly and opening up her mouth again, ready to maybe fuck things up again.  

"Can I kiss your head?" Violet asks, pulling away slightly from the hug, her arms still wrapped tightly around Clementine but their faces a couple inches apart. Violet's face pink and embarrassed, her eyes looking at everywhere but Clementine.    
"Can I kiss your lips?" Clementine replies before gulping, her hands moving upwards to rub circles at Violet's cheeks. Her smile widening as Violet blushes, Violet's own smile too bright and too wide and absolutely, absolutely kissable.  

"I thought we were having a heart felt moment," Violet says with a gasp, her voice tripping over her words, her arms relaxing at Clementine's waist. Her smile beautiful and gay- Clementine wonders why this is their first kiss, why she hasn't kissed Violet before. 

"Well my heart feels like kissing you," Clementine says, her smile somehow getting even wider as Violet leaned in for the kiss. 


End file.
